Expectations

I would tell you I don't have expectations around Ava's play but then we are at the park and I want to tell her to "go play with kids" but I stop myself and let her do this for an hour. No joking she has batted the same fountain for an hour, well she batted the bigger one once but still. I also would not like her to play with "evil" barbies and all things pink. But it's who she is I need to stop putting my "needs" on her. Just let go. How do you overcome your expectations? 

How Do You Measure a Year?

first time holding my baby by myself 3 long months later

A year ago today I was nursing my sweet chubby toddle-baby. I unfortunately got into a plane that would malfunction & fall to the earth but fortunately my baby did not step one foot on it. I fought through coma, confusion, broken bones to be back with my sassy now toddler. Medical bills are suffocating & a brain injury does not make life easy but I'm here. News Report

Right after the accident it broke my heart reading "Are You My Mother" to her thinking how she was that scared little bird looking for her mommy. I no longer tear up while reading it but do when my sleepy child whispers "are you my mudder?" 

Yes I worked hard but I am pretty much a miracle because of all those doctors (especially the one who's yard we landed in) and YOU! You all helped, every single thought pulling for me, rooting for me, made the difference. How else can you explain countless doctors telling my family to say goodbye. I'm here, not whole & not "fixed" but alive which matters most. I'm thankful my child does not have to grow up with just pictures & stories to remember me by. I'm very proud of the person she is becoming.

"Seasons Of Love" from Rent just popped in my head, how fitting that it's been one year today. How do you measure a year? I know your child won't measure it by how clean or unclean your house is but will by the moment you've shared so put down that mop & if you have kids at home, pick up a toy (not to clean but to play) please for me for today play & snuggle those babies. You never know what tomorrow brings.